The Little Bird Who Lost Her Wings
aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

Reblog this if you want a fake marriage proposal in your ask <3

pinkie-pie-party:

bitch-im-cool:

kingdomheartsrocks:

guarneres:

#THE WEIRDER THE BETTER

Yesssssssssss

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[[OMFG THESE ARE ALWAYS AMAZINGLY FUNNY]]

lauralrgraphics:

jakesus:

pathsforgotten:

10knotes:

bless you joker

you guys missed the point of this monologue. the Joker is a psychotic mass-murderer that repeatedly attempts to blow up or generally destroy the city of Gotham root and branch. He’s saying that he won’t really be punished for THOSE crimes, but TAX EVASION (not paying your shake-down money to the government) WILL get him thrown away for life without a chance of getting out. Essentially, I can murder all the people I want but the second I try to cheat the government outta their shake-down money they’ll take me down.

This REEKS of political undertones. As does a TON of media that people are too thick to realize. Writers put this sorta thing into just about everything they do, but they do it low-key enough that it can’t be taken as treasonous only fictional and comical.

This also reminds me a Al Capone. The only time he was incarcerated for more than a week was due to tax evasion. Everyone knew he was responsible for tons of felonies, but he kept everything so well managed that none of the crimes he committed (or had others commit) could be tied to him. At the end of it all, his deeds were well known, but the only reason he went to jail was tax evasion.

lesson learned, pay your taxes

aj-watson:

missinga:

No one can argue that his logic is sound… 

That’s why I love him

eziocauthon89:

castielcampbell:

furryredfox:

transitive-property:

yukikoneko19:

toodrunktofindanurl:

Seriously I know that boobs are beautiful and sexy and everything, but really, it’s just some organic jiggling baby feeders. No need to hide them or be ashamed or over-sexualize them. 

FREE TITIES.

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reblog cuz this is funny

I shouldn’t have to tag this for NSFW, So I won’t.

Probably if more girls would do this, we could adapt more like not calling them sexual organs lol Remember that some guys are assholes too, so prepare to get yelled at or possibly touched :/ We should get rid of the problem (those guys) instead of forcing bras or bikinis….

I went to church with a lady that went to do missionary work in Africa (I think it was Africa.) and they had classes on how they needed to dress and stuff. And at one point she made a joke about wearing turtlenecks and the teacher said “Darlin, you could walk around topless for all the men are going to care.”

This woman is “stacked” “buxom”… she has big titties okay?

And she said “Really??”

And the teacher explained. “Breasts are for babies in most parts of the world. It’s only in America and a few other places that Breasts are seen as sexual. Breasts to men of the country we are going to are for babies and only for babies. Now… your ass on the other hand… you’re gonna need some long skirts with a high waist, cause they notice the booty.”

Mostly reblogging for that last story

littleladykins:

andshesgoldblooded:

“this leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously.”

I will never not reblog

Forever reblogging

Reblog If You Grew Up With This

sanityscraps:

youaresosmall:

jumpushfall:

jumpushfall:

a-pretty-optimistic-pessimist:

image

NOT this:

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kids these days are so spoiled

when i was your age we had an animated disney castle intro

and we had to walk uphill both ways to see it

Barefoot, in the snow

Running away from velociraptors

AND WE WERE THANKFUL.

We’re the same, Caroline.

hipster-selfies:

xoheart-on-her-sleeve:

ask-shy-ler-leia-and-lian:







Why you shouldn’t microwave a cell phone

it’s like the rebirth of Voldemort

HOLY SHIT

REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A MOUTH OPENING AND CLOSING

WHAT THE EGFUTCKT

IT’S LIKE OPENING UP THE GATES OF HELL

i told you there was a monster in my phone….

That’s fucking crazy

What the fuck was just released?

hipster-selfies:

xoheart-on-her-sleeve:

ask-shy-ler-leia-and-lian:

Why you shouldn’t microwave a cell phone

it’s like the rebirth of Voldemort

HOLY SHIT

REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IT LOOKS LIKE THERE IS A MOUTH OPENING AND CLOSING

WHAT THE EGFUTCKT

IT’S LIKE OPENING UP THE GATES OF HELL

i told you there was a monster in my phone….

That’s fucking crazy

What the fuck was just released?